My school has this process that most students, if not all students, experience during their first year called deconstruction. If I had to explain it from my own experience, it is when you become aware of the idiosyncracies of life, relationships, and self that have been a part of your general make up for you up to that point in life. In the deconstruction process, you are encouraged to dream about who you want to be in life; you become aware of the idosyncrasies you carry and are challenged to let go of some, understand how they came to be, and even further discover new ways to interact in relationship with others with vulnerability and care for yourself. Deconstruction leads seamlessly into the reconstruction process.
However, it is not a linear movement; it is not like a line on a page, going from left to right and then ending. This is how I have always envisioned it, and I am sad to say that I’ve recently discovered that deconstruction leads to reconstruction, rolling right back into deconstruction. It is a circular journey, always building, always breaking down, and building again.
Of course I would want the pain to end. Of course I’m tired of discovering my quirks and how they keep me from true relationship with others. But what did I expect from a life that is in constant motion, constantly changing, constantly becoming?
What about you – what have you become aware of in the past week? month? year? Who do you dream of becoming?