It was Saturday and I had wandered into Sephora to purchase the mascara that I like. Women buzzed around the store, some receiving help from the staff, some trying on makeup, some just aimlessly wandering like I was trying to do.
I went straight to the stand where ‘my’ mascara is located and, as I was standing in line to purchase said mascara, a thought popped into my head…
I’ve really been wanting to try red lipstick but I’m afraid. I tweeted as such, just so that I wouldn’t feel alone in this giant crowd of people…
I walked around to the different stations they had with the different brands on display and simply looked.I almost bought a ‘tinted lip moisturizer,’ which I do believe is a fancy way of saying ‘chapstick with a bit-o-color.’ I began to feel overwhelmed and thought about all the reasons I’ve been told before that I shouldn’t wear red lipstick, which really boil down to the understanding that my lips are little and my teeth aren’t perfectly white, both of which would be magnified by such a bold lip color.
But then I realized that these were things that were told to me from magazines that tell me everything about me is wrong.
My hips are too wide.
My belly is too much (shit, I have a belly at all that protrudes from my body).
My breasts... wait, nope, those are evidently awesome.
My hair is too fine and not shiny enough.
My nails are too ragged.
My face is too splotchy.
My feet are too calloused.
My thighs touch.
My knuckles are too fat.
My hands are too man-like.
…and I got pissed. I got pissed that these ideas have even been put into my head because at the end of the day (and the beginning and the middle), I believe that I am beautiful.
I also believe that I am an intelligent, independent, sexy, capable, emotional, grounded, bad ass woman.
So I found someone to help me pick out some fantastic red lipstick, and I’ve worn it every day since.
I wore it to the Spring Banquet on Saturday night.
I wore it to work on Sunday.
I wore it to school today.
I wore it while I cleaned my room tonight while wearing my pajamas and a Texas Rangers hat.
This is my life. I just maybe had that realization *again* while in Sephora.
I need to stop letting something outside of myself dictate my happiness, my choices, my idea of who I truly am.
I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately about body images and one of those belongs to a woman named Kate who lives in New York. Here’s one that I thought of while I was having my epiphany. She does a unroast at the end of every post, and I’m taking that on for myself. More positivity can’t hurt…
Unroast of the day… Today, I LOVE HOW I LOOK IN RED LIPSTICK! That was easy (this time).
Happy living to you all!